Slam Demons 2: Return of the Burn
Art by James Callahan Words by Adam Creagan
SLAM DEMONS ARE A PARADOX. They escape view from the naked eye, yet evidence of their deeds exist all over the world in the form of battered skaters. We visited a horde of these slam-producing ghouls a while back. Here’s another batch of brutes that provoke skate catastrophes and feed off of them. Although their existence is shrouded in myth, the next time you get served raw while skating, ask yourself: The shadow that seemed to lunge forward, that hovering silhouette you saw before you hit the ground... It couldn’t be. Could it?
As seen in the October 2012 mag.
MAGIC CARPET RIDE
Steppenwolf? Nah, you just stepped into hell. When you bail a trick and accidently step back on the grip, you’re in for a wild (yet brief) ride. How your journey ends depends on the whims of a cruel Djinn. There’s no Disney genie here, folks. No wishes granted, no mercy shown.
If a ledge will grind and slide one moment and then send you flying the next, that’s not wheelbite or bad luck. It’s the tangled web of this creepshow, yanking your board away for perverse delight.
The opposite of the Web Slinger, this shape-shifting monstrosity doesn’t grab your board, he slips it out from under you. His pure evil oozes onto ledges, turning them into ice and causing unsuspecting skaters to get broke off.
Here’s the ancient archer who has plagued skaters since clay wheels. His quiver is never empty and he hits a bulls-eye on your arm-hinge every time. He’ll haunt you for your whole life, but it’s strictly business. This mercenary treats all skaters equally.
Whenever you bash your heels, this ground-dwelling demon unveils itself and springs to life. It feasts on the anatomical impact of your feet and awaits your next Russian Roulette with gravity! Or some shit like that.
To prevent a visitation from any brain-devouring faceplant demons, you’ve got to get those arms out on every slam. Problem is, you may instead summon this demolition crew. They’ll turn your radius and ulna forearm bones into splinters.
A cranium crunch from this ogre produces all sorts of interesting sights and sounds. For whom does the bell toll? It tolls for you, asshole. Dong! Dong! (Hey, what ever happened to The Donger?)
7/24/2017Ancient Egypt is known for Pyramids, Pharaohs, and mummies. Our research of their mysterious written language also indicates they had a ripping skate scene with unique hazards.
4/13/2017Man, we love those two pages in the back of the mag. Getting skate photos from different scenes around the world is a blast. Ryan has had more pics published in Photo-G than anyone so we figured we’d finally get to know the guy.
9/13/2016Like an infectious, untreatable disease, that one phone app where you hunt down invisible monsters went viral like the Black Plague. Here’s our version where you snoop around for skate critters.
6/22/2016This band had a long-time cult following and blew up the last couple of years. Austyn Gillette and David Letterman may have helped, but mostly the tunes did all the work.
3/28/2016Jerry Hsu returns to the cover of the mag with a tech-gnar masterpiece–nollie backside 180 to fakie 5-0. Welcome back, Jer!