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SKATEBOARDING => SHIT TALK => Topic started by: bailgun on October 15, 2009, 11:57:37 AM



Title: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: bailgun on October 15, 2009, 11:57:37 AM
this is the hypothetical question/situations thread.

answer the previous post's question to the best of your abilities, and then present your own hypothetical question or situation.

details are key.

i'll start: suppose that instead of a martial artist, bruce lee became a skateboarder. in the current day. describe his style and trick selection.


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: el ogrehound 3000 on October 15, 2009, 12:32:37 PM
He would do nothing bu Judo airs, and have Daewon Style.

Suppose there was a helmet law for skateboarders under 18 years of age.  more tickets vs. less skaters.


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: Johnny Copp on October 15, 2009, 12:33:26 PM
Dudes feet would definitely spread apart on a tre flip.    Even if that's not your flavor you have to admit when people do that it looks like martial arts.


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: bailgun on October 15, 2009, 12:45:21 PM
i don't think so. bruce lee was all about efficiency of motion and ignoring traditional forms and styles in favor of pure fluidity and function.

putting extra flare on tricks=wasted motion and energy=a dishonest expression of the self.

Suppose there was a helmet law for skateboarders under 18 years of age.  more tickets vs. less skaters.
this is not hypothetical. those laws are already in place all over the country. 


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: el ogrehound 3000 on October 15, 2009, 01:37:50 PM
Not to just ride down the street though, right?


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: bailgun on October 15, 2009, 01:44:14 PM
yep. most places it's not enforced too hard, but its the law all over california now, and vancouver washington requires helmets for ALL nonmotorized vehicles for ALL ages. my friend carl has the tickets to prove it and he's a 30-something dad.

back to bruce lee.... or a new hypothetical, please.


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: Johnny Copp on October 15, 2009, 02:23:28 PM
bruce lee was all about efficiency of motion and ignoring traditional forms and styles in favor of pure fluidity and function.


So when people did the first tre flips they weren't as legs wide open and kicked as much I.E. Jason Lee and Rodney Mullen.    No dispute who did them first really.   They later became more "exagerated" and more prevalent even just this decade.   I think Stephans and plenty others are super spread out which could arguably been by your own words "ingnoring traditional forms" (Lee again), and well Stephan looks pretty "fluid" and "functional" to me.     Jus sayin'  its meer opinion.


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: omni on October 15, 2009, 03:22:10 PM
What would you do if you woke up and you had no legs


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: The brycickle on October 15, 2009, 03:24:02 PM
Learn hand stands.


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: Fiction Aid on October 15, 2009, 03:34:39 PM
If you didn't wake up, would you still not have legs?


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: omni on October 15, 2009, 03:36:28 PM
no then you would probably be dead or in a coma with no legs


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: Paper/Scissors on October 15, 2009, 09:05:49 PM
Say a skate wizard walks into the room you're in and grants you 3 tricks that you will always get no matter what. Let's hear it.


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: the WORMER on October 15, 2009, 09:12:20 PM
hardflips, no more popsicles
fs airs
manuals, you could just pull them for however long you feel like it

suppose you wake up with three of your bodily functions controlled with buttons or knobs.  What three?


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: bailgun on October 15, 2009, 09:19:12 PM
puke, piss and shit. i didn't even have to consider it.

push button puking would be so awesome and handy in everyday life... the other two would just be timesavers.
 

what is the most degrading thing you would do in order to avoid having a hand cut off?


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: Paper/Scissors on October 15, 2009, 09:25:32 PM
Have sexual relations in the missionary position for the sole purpose of procreation.

You're a mad scientist, what bad ass mo fuggin animal do you construct to reek havoc?


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: bailgun on October 15, 2009, 09:35:58 PM
i give sharks arms and legs.

and laser guns.


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: Paper/Scissors on October 15, 2009, 11:05:00 PM
fricken laser beams??!?!?!?


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: the WORMER on October 16, 2009, 06:00:23 AM
you become the singer for a crust punk band.  What is your band's name?


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: elastic back on October 16, 2009, 08:04:59 AM
puss popping scab lickers

you awoke to find yourself in skateboardings infancy with your current knowledge of tricks, boards, and the industry. what would be your first 3 orders of business?


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: bailgun on October 16, 2009, 11:57:08 AM
1-not
2-one
3-thing.

gotta let it blow it on its own. i don't wanna be responsible.


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: WiteNite on October 16, 2009, 12:19:17 PM
You encounter an evil genie that will kill anyone you want, no one will ever know he/she existed and everything else stays the same. Who do you kill?


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: bailgun on October 16, 2009, 12:22:19 PM
i refuse to answer this question as it may be used to implicate me at a later date.
but its a good question, anyway.


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: elastic back on October 16, 2009, 12:25:28 PM
You encounter an evil genie that will kill anyone you want, no one will ever know he/she existed and everything else stays the same. Who do you kill?

i would use just one...and have it kill itself so that it doesn't fall into anyone else's hands.


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: elastic back on October 16, 2009, 12:27:26 PM
oh yeah, new one...

you found out you had the ability to be invisible as you choose. how would you take advantage of this power?


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: Hefeweizen on October 16, 2009, 06:06:49 PM
I'd steal a lot, mostly.

Say the Devil offers you a chance to sell your soul, what do you want for it?


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: bailgun on October 16, 2009, 06:52:22 PM
unlimited riches and a backup soul.
also, he has to close hell.

say the election process was abandoned in america, and replaced with a lottery system, similar to jury duty.
 
you check the mail one day, and damn! you're president. first move?


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: Third Times a Gnar on October 16, 2009, 08:28:27 PM
legalize.

weed.

more? public health care with rational tort reform and a reasonable public option that keeps every real person happy, not the suits.

you find a stack of old and new skate mags in an old run down book store... the owner comes up behind you and tells you that you can choose one deceased/'tweaked out to the point of retirement/obscurity' skateboarder to bring back from the dead, full ability and youth as they had before they died.

who do you 'summon'?


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: The brycickle on October 16, 2009, 08:42:58 PM
Jeff Phillips


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: skatenerd on October 17, 2009, 04:24:08 PM
Van Wastell,gone way too early.

Being invisible:My first thought is to steal things too,and walk into peoples homes and shit.

Crust Punk names off the top of my head: Diseased Crisis,Doomed,Disoriented youth, ToXic,Plague, Diffusion, Amoeba, Destroyed, Cesspool grave, Trash


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread
Post by: dijo on October 17, 2009, 06:05:31 PM
2-0.

France - Austria.2b advance


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: dijo on October 17, 2009, 06:14:52 PM
Football - QUALIF AFS 2010 le 14/10/2009 - AUTRICHE : 3-1‎ - Il y a 3 jours.1h colour


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: WiteNite on June 16, 2010, 09:34:54 PM
this thread probably got buried for a reason, but I thought it was pretty funny so let's see if we can fire it up again

Say you were given the chance to acquire ANYONE's skating skills, which skater do you pick?


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: m477 on June 16, 2010, 10:26:06 PM
Skate abilities, I gotta go with Tom Penny from his europe contest/high five days.


You have $100,000 to spend on two cars.  Not one, not three - just two.  And you can't buy a beater and pocket the cash.


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: bailgun on June 16, 2010, 11:10:58 PM
two hummers to play crash up derby with.

you may punch michael bolton in the face, OR kick kenny g in the balls. choose one, and explain why.


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: Woo Fuckin WHOO on June 17, 2010, 02:20:08 AM
Micheal Bolton cause he probly got more chicks than most straight guys

would you be friends or together your best friends Ex, who cheated on him? she is ridiculously beautiful. and if you date her, your bestfriend will hate you.


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: elastic back on June 17, 2010, 06:29:37 AM
no, there are many ridiculously beautiful girls out there, but only a few people worth being friends with.

you had a rare medical condition which required one of two daily activities to survive. giving fallacio for 15 minutes or receiving anal sex for 5 minutes. which would you choose?


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: Bro on June 17, 2010, 08:13:13 AM
Anal sex for 5 minutes please, because I can just press a button and automatically take a massive shit.

If you were to change any historical event, what would it be?


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: skatenerd on June 17, 2010, 03:15:09 PM
I'd say getting anal everyday for 5 minutes means you just lay there and take it. It's shorter and less work than giving head for a whole 15 minutes


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: m477 on June 17, 2010, 04:52:55 PM

If you were to change any historical event, what would it be?

Not reading ebys question and the answers following.


If the opportunity arose for a huge sponsorship - would you "sell out" for $20,000 to endorse Chef Boyardee, or stay "core"


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: WiteNite on June 17, 2010, 05:24:54 PM
I'd take the 20 g's in a second being core is for poseurs.

While looking for empty backyard pools one day, you come across an abandoned house which just happens to have a time machine sitting on the back porch. You decide to give it a go, do you travel to the future or past and why?


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: dijo on June 17, 2010, 05:59:53 PM
Let's travel to South Africa 4:49 PM Apr 30th via Twitter for BlackBerry (http://www.twitter.com/TatumKeshwar/status/13130238254)® and help Tatum Keshwar out.

Suspect Evelyn Salt at large. No, Salt. Beets, Carrots, Spinach, and particularly Celery.


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: C H U C K on June 17, 2010, 06:11:38 PM
Let's travel to South Africa 4:49 PM Apr 30th via Twitter for BlackBerry ([url]http://www.twitter.com/TatumKeshwar/status/13130238254[/url])® and help Tatum Keshwar out.

Suspect Evelyn Salt at large. No, Salt. Beets, Carrots, Spinach, and particularly Celery.



I'm in Dijo. How are the fish tacos?


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: elastic back on June 17, 2010, 10:14:38 PM
dijo, you sly dog, you. going back in time to help the ladies out, playa...

and if i understand your hypothetical right, if there were no salt, beets, carrots, spinach, or celery i would try to find a v-8 or something with the same general content. while not as appealing as the fresh veggies, it would suffice. but no salt is fine, that stuff can raise your cholesterol.

so you went to the doctor and found out that you have 8 hours to live. there is no way to save you so go do what you need/want to do before you pass. would would realistically happen in that 8 hours?


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: dijo on June 18, 2010, 04:41:32 AM
Remove 1300 posts from this same message board.

Hi, Jake.


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: dijo on June 18, 2010, 04:57:16 AM
I'd also retweet every single Obama intervention and change the —I to mIn or some smaller wand.


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: killthegnar on June 18, 2010, 06:33:30 AM
dijo is fuckin killin it! all hail dijo!


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: elastic back on June 18, 2010, 06:40:14 AM
wow. dijo is so insightful. i never would have thought to do that in my last 8 hours alive. phelper got a shout out from dijo too! "hi, jake."

since dijo is obviously too busy with epic things to leave a new hypothetical. here is a new one. you were watching tv and an alien electric storm struck. you would them be beamed into a television show, but you have one chance to switch the channel and determine which one it is. what do you choose?


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: dijo on June 18, 2010, 08:14:11 AM
Suppose security on the base had slipped, he said. Basically Bradley Manning sat down and started burning data to the CD labelled Lady Gaga whilst pretending to be bopping along. He said you'd knock on the door and they'd let you in a room that needed a unique security code to access. Let's hit California Gurls at the awards on June 6 at 9/8c.


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: ttching on June 18, 2010, 09:41:29 AM
wow. dijo is so insightful. i never would have thought to do that in my last 8 hours alive. phelper got a shout out from dijo too! "hi, jake."

since dijo is obviously too busy with epic things to leave a new hypothetical. here is a new one. you were watching tv and an alien electric storm struck. you would them be beamed into a television show, but you have one chance to switch the channel and determine which one it is. what do you choose?

Hard to say.  If I'm limited to TV, maybe a Charlie's Angels rerun (can't go wrong with hot girls and action).  If not, I'd throw in whatever pro skate video from the early 2000's that was close, so I could get beamed to Barcelona back then.

Its that wonderful split second of realization that you are about to slam.  Something is going to get broken, torn, or otherwise mangeled, but what depends on how you choose to go down.  What do you go for?


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: m477 on June 18, 2010, 10:03:09 AM
Ug, this one makes me cringe.... I'd have to go with a broken bone rater than torn ligament (last year I fractured my elbow in August and fractured my Toe in Dec).  Can I pick sprain :)

You can only eat one food the rest of your life, bacon cheeseburgers with all the fixings or lima bean sprout soup....


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: ttching on June 18, 2010, 10:20:34 AM
Bacon cheeseburgers for sure.  All the fixings implys that one could slip a veggie or two in there once in a while.

Sprains qualify as otherwise mangeled, so feel free to roll your ankle.  I'd go with the double wrist to chesty myself, as I haven't had the pleasure of scorpioning more than a couple times and think I'd fare better there than with another concussion or knee/ankle injury.


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: ttching on June 18, 2010, 10:56:58 AM
You can choose between skating switch really good, but only being able to push mongo, either way, or not being able to skate switch at all except for being able to push that way (instead of fakie mongo pushing).


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: ttching on June 18, 2010, 07:56:28 PM
Here is a better hypothetical.  You can now only push mongo, forever, but for what?


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: elastic back on June 18, 2010, 10:29:16 PM
yeah, i hardly ever skate switch except for switch pushing, so that is a given...

time automatically stops and everything in frozen in perpetual motion except for yourself. this will last for 12 hours. what do you do in that 12 hours as the only animated being?


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: C H U C K on June 19, 2010, 12:37:07 AM
Here is a better hypothetical.  You can now only push mongo, forever, but for what?
Why would pushing mongo have any effect on how much you love riding the wooden toy. Is there a right and wrong way to skateboard?


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: bailgun on June 19, 2010, 02:57:00 AM
stop it, chuck. mongo is atrocious to look at, and nonfunctional, and you know it.


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: C H U C K on June 19, 2010, 04:48:35 AM
I still have a soft spot in my heart for King Mongo.  ;)


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: dijo on June 19, 2010, 06:46:55 PM
I'd travel to South Africa and defib Tatum Keshwar and Joseph Blatter to check the batteries. Spawns a witch, but cheating is bad. Amid a torrential downpour, you go ashore, make your way through an abandoned sugar mill to a gas station to get fuel supplies, and return to the boat. Virgil takes you to New Orleans where the military appears to be evacuating civilians. Someone in the chat calls rtv. Do you rock the vote and skip the tank in versus mode?


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: Woo Fuckin WHOO on June 22, 2010, 07:36:04 PM
no, there are many ridiculously beautiful girls out there, but only a few people worth being friends with.

To late, i went out with her already, i told my friend he's suprisingly cool with it, and im getting married January 24 2011 (i already knew her for 10 years before the year of dating.) my friend is my best man :)


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: Daf Dennis on June 24, 2010, 08:24:20 PM
say the world is ending, you and two people are safe, what 2 people would you chose to spend the rest of your life with?
alternate question:you have the power to delete 2 posters(excluding me  ;) ) on this forum, who would they be and why?


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: Bro on July 04, 2010, 12:27:35 PM
Ok dennis I get the point. :-\


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: skatenerd on July 07, 2010, 09:24:02 PM
I'm pretty sure if it's a dude they'll choose two girls.
First item on the list, repopulating the earth. Repeatedly.


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: Daf Dennis on July 12, 2010, 09:33:45 PM
Ok dennis I get the point. :-\
haha, that wasnt directed at you my friend.


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: skatenerd on July 14, 2010, 09:44:07 PM
Ok. Would you rather make out with your Grandpa or a Girl that just gave you and your friend a blowjob simultaneously.


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: WiteNite on July 23, 2010, 01:48:20 PM
id go for the chick, cause my grampa doesn't brush his teeth. plus if i am involved in a sexual situation where the wieners outnumber the vags, I might as well be suckin cock myself.

and yall forgot about eby's question so I'll knock two birds with one post.

"time automatically stops and everything in frozen in perpetual motion except for yourself. this will last for 12 hours. what do you do in that 12 hours as the only animated being?"

i remember back when I was in 5th grade i used to daydream about time freezing and I would go make out with the hottest chick in school while she was frozen. I know, that's super creepy, but she was way hot for a 5th grader. (just to toot my own horn, I ended up makin out with that chick in 7th grade)

oh and new hypo... while on the creepy subject say u were skating down the street one day and the most beautiful celebrity saw you and said that she just loved skaters and wanted you to do unpeakable things to her, who would that celebrity be? (picture response preferred)



Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: skatenerd on July 27, 2010, 09:21:10 PM
So,that's basically a plot for a porno.

I'll let someone else answer.


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: bucky fellini on July 29, 2010, 08:07:17 AM
oh and new hypo... while on the creepy subject say u were skating down the street one day and the most beautiful celebrity saw you and said that she just loved skaters and wanted you to do unpeakable things to her, who would that celebrity be? (picture response preferred)


probably that justine bieber chick in a few years time - what a cutie. she's gonna be hot when she gets older. she could frontside 180 me anytime


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: susej on July 29, 2010, 09:36:27 AM
switch!


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: Bro on July 31, 2010, 12:52:00 PM
All the chicks rom Suicide girls...they love wood..
but to really answer your question: Miley Cyrus?

If you was to create a psychoactive/hallucen.. drug
what would you name it?
what form? (plant, powder, liquid, gas, poop, etc.)
effect?
side effects?

(idk if that was a good question, well its better than posting it as a thread.)


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: ttching on August 01, 2010, 10:23:56 AM
Miley Cyrus looks like Butthead's love child, but without braces.

South Park answered your question for us:

Cheesing, cat piss, total hallucinations involving space ships, breasts, and classic rock followed by hangovers then severe, violent withdrawl.  Hard to top that.

Question: Is it really better to almost take out and scare each little kid who drops in on you at the skatepark, individually, than to just really take out the first one that does it so the rest learn by the spectacle of a broken little body squirming on the concrete?


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: Fiction Aid on August 01, 2010, 03:22:48 PM
That's not a hypothetical question is it?


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: Bro on August 01, 2010, 07:35:49 PM
Miley Cyrus looks like Butthead's love child, but without braces.

South Park answered your question for us:

Cheesing, cat piss, total hallucinations involving space ships, breasts, and classic rock followed by hangovers then severe, violent withdrawl.


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: ttching on October 21, 2010, 12:48:55 PM
Does being wrong all the time weigh on the consciences' of weathermen?


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: ze RJM on October 21, 2010, 03:43:24 PM
nah, they'll just blow up buildings and the like


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: ttching on March 06, 2011, 09:17:37 AM
(http://c0013669.cdn1.cloudfiles.rackspacecloud.com/x2_4e04f74)

Does this make me a rad dad?


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: krusher on March 06, 2011, 11:21:26 PM
YEP!


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: bob on March 07, 2011, 05:35:09 PM
hell yeah it does. can't wait to get my daughter on a board


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: susej on March 08, 2011, 06:19:59 AM
How old is she? If she can stand, she can stand on a skateboard.


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: ttching on March 08, 2011, 10:06:55 AM
She'll be two in April.  She's been walking for at least a year now, so she can stand on the board.  Its that whole rolling thing she has trouble with.  Right now she mostly wants me to ride around and do flatground tricks for her to watch.


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: bob on March 08, 2011, 03:27:01 PM
thats so awesome man. my girl is only nine months right now and still needs help standing up. but in the mean time my nephew has asked me to teach him how to skate.

also, since we have gotten a bit off subject here is a question.

say the world was about to end and the only way to save it was have sex with a wild animal and have it televised for all the world to see, what animal would you choose?


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: susej on March 08, 2011, 04:11:57 PM
(http://worldsstrongestlibrarian.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/08_07_23_animal_muppet.jpg)


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: bob on March 09, 2011, 01:18:19 PM
nice! didn't see that one comin


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: dtotherob on March 09, 2011, 09:10:55 PM
i would have chosen a monkey, since it's skateboarding that gives you aids.

aids and monkeys (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETKhGGYSDZA#)


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: susej on March 10, 2011, 02:52:54 AM
Of course, I'd have to insist that the girl in my avatar operate said puppet...


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: bob on March 10, 2011, 07:50:36 PM
i'll allow it


Title: Re: the hypothetical question thread.
Post by: susej on March 11, 2011, 02:56:28 AM
shweet!