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Author Topic: Pimp Your Kid  (Read 9619 times)
Vejay Pinter
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« on: July 25, 2011, 06:26:11 PM »

SPONSOR ME TAPES" FROM A 12 YEAR OLD'S PARENTS
What prompts you to think they deserve a factory sponsorship anyway? Great he can do a vertical kickflip and stink bug airs over small jumps. You don't know anything about skating and everyone tells you about your kid is really good. They also say he (or she) is adorable. No one is ever gonna tell a parent to their face that their kid is ugly and sucks at skating. This is America. We lie. What do you think? He's gonna be the next Ryan Sheckler. Is that what you want for your kid? Have you actually watched the show? He's always crying about something. Jesus, Get your kid some peace of mind, don't turn their dreams of having fun into a paycheck when they're 12.
Furthermore, Fuck you for exploiting your child. All the work this country put into child labor laws and you're going back a century for who? Think this for your kid? Do you know what the skate industry is like? I know you had a great time at the Tampa Am and it was nice to have some grimy skater call you a MILF, they'll hit anything in Florida. I saw this episode of The Soup where Danny Bonaduce was talking to parents of child actors about horrible paths previous child actors have taken. He talked about Drew Barrymore on drugs at 15, the 2 Corey's fall from grace, and he even showed them the spot where River Phoenix overdosed. Afterwards, Bonaduce asked. "Who still wants their child to be an actor?" They all raised their hands.
Fucking parental parasites.
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skatenerd
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« Reply #1 on: July 25, 2011, 09:11:28 PM »

[img width= height=]http://www.shooo.com/myspace-comments/lol/gifs/lol14.gif[/img]
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Sex robot focuses on appealing to the mind.
krusher
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« Reply #2 on: July 26, 2011, 01:53:28 AM »

This made me laugh so hard at work! Thank you Vejay!

My favorite are the skate Coaches/ Dads that tell their kids to bend their knees more and to "go in like this" (using their hands to show flow), even though they have never been on a board. Skateboarding looks so easy to the ignorant...


Skate Coaches are the worst! I've been skating the same park for almost 12 years now and all the kids who have skate coaches for fathers end up giving up on life a attempt to kill their family in a murder suicide... happens ALL OF THE TIME
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Vejay Pinter
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« Reply #3 on: July 26, 2011, 10:05:02 AM »

Ok. Here is a scenario.... Lets say your kid has real skills, style and a really good attitude about skating and life in general. Ask yourself this.
 
What does he expect to get from skating?
Fame?
Fortune?
There is no money in it.
A reputable statistical research firm reported that there are 9 times more skateboarders out there than men and women enlisted in all the branches of the US military. Fucking millions!
Also, there are less than 100 guys who can pay a mortgage, own a car and have an old lady and kid on a pro skateboarders salary.
It's a thankless job with no medical insurance. Do you know what happens if you slam hard and break your shit? They say. "Next!" There is someone else eagerly waiting in line to take your place - If your parents can afford to buy you gear when you need and have earned it then Mom and Dad are your sponsors. If you love skating and want to work some day in the skateboarding industry, get a job at your local skate shop, stay in school and get that education. We have more dumb fuckers who can't read or write in this industry than you can shake a stick at.

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ttching
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« Reply #4 on: July 26, 2011, 10:16:45 AM »

Vejay, who do you think lurks on this board?  We're all skaters in here, in school or with regular jobs and shit, not skate coach parents who want their kid to be the next Sheckler.  While your posts are worth a laugh, you need to take that energy to the park and yell at some of the people who are clearly rubbing you the wrong way.  We all already know all about this.

Also, pimping your kid is selling them for sex, not trying to get them sponsored.
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C H U C K
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« Reply #5 on: July 26, 2011, 12:48:23 PM »

Good post Jeff.

Truth be told, I'm not out to change anyone or change the world. I just like skateboarding, I don't really care who or how many do it or their motives for doing so. I know the great pleasure it brings ME.
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dtotherob
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« Reply #6 on: July 27, 2011, 07:39:08 PM »

slingz will turn anyone pro. i say keep those tapes comin'!
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Babe, Mr. Ruth if you're Nasty
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« Reply #7 on: July 27, 2011, 08:28:55 PM »

Cory Martinez has already sent four video parts to Slingz, Red Bull and Skullcandy.
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Sleef
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« Reply #8 on: July 29, 2011, 10:48:23 PM »

If it were my kid, I'd have to take a good hard look at who wants to sponsor him.  Has Apple dipped their fat fucking fingers into skateboarding yet?
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For a barrage of bad jokes involving Satan, pussy, and mocking bigots follow MCDS_Patrick on Twitter.  Pussy.
bob
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« Reply #9 on: August 01, 2011, 07:54:52 PM »

i heard they are coming out with the ishred in 2012
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The brycickle
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« Reply #10 on: August 02, 2011, 11:22:03 AM »

I know just where to go when I need to pimp my kid:
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When life gives you AIDS, make LemonAIDS!!
bailgun
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« Reply #11 on: August 02, 2011, 05:13:06 PM »

yo dawg, i herd u leik kids on your kid, so we put a kid in your kid so you can kid while you kid.
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JiggsUp
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« Reply #12 on: August 04, 2011, 05:23:30 PM »

Pimp my sister.avi
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ttching
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« Reply #13 on: August 11, 2011, 11:47:03 AM »

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krusher
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« Reply #14 on: August 15, 2011, 12:14:59 AM »

DEAR MR. AND MRS. MIDLER BY JIM THIEBAUD - JamesLezHD
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