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Author Topic: Phillip Dornmiar  (Read 4056 times)
Ryan Donohue
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« on: April 18, 2012, 02:45:41 PM »

Phil the German...this dude was cool as fuck. He apperently jumped (or fell) off the roof of his father's house in Germany after he got in a fight with his girlfriend.  This dude was cool as fuck, he was right off the boat from Germany.  He came to the states when his Dad's job was transfered and he barely spoke three words of english, but he used to get wasted with us and kill shit like noone else. Then he would yell at everyone in German and get his dick sucked cause tha ladies thought it was awesome. True story. When we were 16 the town ended up putting up a skatepark for me, him, and a few of our friends because we used to scratch up all the benches. Shortly after he ended up moving back to Germany...A few years later, he called me one day as I was on my way to court for climbing in my ex-girlfriend's window. He said he had gotten into a fight with his girlfriend, hitchhiked to another town, beat the mess out of some dude, trashed a bar (and apperently piss off the German Mafia in the proccess). And he was hiding out at his house with 15 bottles of alcohol and a half keg of beer because he had just had a party and was wasted. By the time I got out of jail 7 days later he was dead...His brother spoke poor english but he just said "he...off the roof"...Strangely enough, a few years after that, I moved to a new town and met this crazy chick with a pink mohawk. Turns out her ex-boyfriend had recently committed suicide and the town had won $50,000 from pepsi refresh progect to put up a skatepark in his memory. Later I find out that she's a crazy bitch and some type of wanna-be suicide girl because she thinks it's funny to make people feel like shit and commit suicide. That was about the same day she ran around my house naked screaming and crying covered in canned peaches and cum. (seriously). She decided to come to MY house, suck everyones dick BUT mine and expect me to sit there and do nothing. That was all well and good untill she asked for my last tylenol 3 and told me to go to the store and buy her more vodka... I gladly told here that my best friend in the whole world jumped off the roof of his father's mansion in germany, my other friend has 7 metal plates in his forehead, and that my friend Jim blew his brains out right in front of his girlfriend after he took one shot at her and missed. All because of some girls that think it's funny to fuck with people's heads. My other friend Mike actually commited suicide when my ex-girlfriend diched him to hang out with me. That girl, the one who I spent 7 days in jail for climbing in her window...actually recently commited suicide (we think) on St. Patrick's Day...I think we should change the name of WNY to the streets of Iwo Jima. Did I meantion that my new Grilfriend's anniversary is 11/9/10? (9/11 backwards) Or that I have the same birthdate as Rodney Mullen, but my Father (biological) was born on the Fourth of July....I also have an Uncle who was born on Christmas and my Aunt was sterile, they always told me I was the son they never had. This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius. I am number Four. Revolution is my name.....or as Slayer once put it...ONLY THROUGH THE DARKNESS OF CHRIST HAVE I REALIZED...
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