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Author Topic: 10 Hamm's, 4 Pabst. This is what happens.  (Read 2723 times)
Sleef
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« on: January 04, 2009, 12:43:28 AM »

A Place For Everything And Everything In It's Place.

An Essay Written For The Thrasher Message Board.



   Are you being accurately represented by your brand name clothing?  Is the food you eat properly attired in iconic logography?  Are you adequately camouflaged when consorting with others?  If not, you might be doing a little too much thinking.  What harm could possibly come from the separation of individuals into neat categories?  Does "divide and conquer" apply in regards to marketing?  How could our government possibly benefit from dissecting our spending habits?  Who cares?  I have an iPod Touch!

   Have you ever noticed how people that act the same also dress the same?  How this applies equally to people you hate as well as people you love?  From Nascar to Black Flag, your individuality and personality are being expressed by the clothes you wear instead of the words you say.  As though wearing regular fit jeans and a collared shirt means you don't like hip-hop.  Or punk.  Or biking.  Or ballroom dancing, for that matter.

   Everything we buy is made with the idea that the producer is going to show a profit.  Now, what's the best way to insure a profit?  The first idea is to make a superior product.  Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.  Anyway, since most producers of ANY product are never going to be satisfied with the quality of their product, we come to marketing.  Who will buy my product?  Why will they buy it?  Questions that would be maddening if not for the invaluable tool of inventing a market.  Simply tell people that their niche group needs your product and, if you've done your job properly, they will.

   Telling people what they need is a tricky proposition.  You have to possess a working knowledge of the person you're selling to.  Fortunately for the seller, most people tend to hide behind a label.  IE: catholic, artist, rebel, jock, nerd, or, dare I say, skater?  Now you have a group to target.  When you find the unifying factor behind the fellowship, you find the key to selling your product.  Much of it is pretty base.  Horny dudes want to fuck as many chicks as possible.  Axe Body Spray will make chicks want to fuck you.  Simple.  Let's bring it up a level.  Mountain Dew is just a soft drink.  It, actually, tastes like some sort of citrus lunacy.  They say it's extreme.  They say it should be equated with bungee jumping, skydiving, and dirt biking.  Does it work?  Hell yeah, it does!

   Let's take it to the next level.  Affirmative Action was a policy that was put into place with the idea that we would be leveling the playing field for people who were being discriminated against.  (Black people.)  Actual proponents of this idea must be pretty embarrassed by the outcome.  Those who were biased to begin with only ended up being more biased than ever before and those who struggled to be thought of as just another person were now thought of as commodities.  The idea of Affirmative Action was marketed towards those who wanted to do some good by those who knew that it would only create a climate of hostility.

   Here's a flight of fancy to take it to the highest level.  Without any facts to back this up, I will postulate that our government purposely inflicted our people with two of the most insidious blights the world has ever seen.  In the late 70's, race relations were at an all time high.  Homosexuals were starting to be seen as regular people (Which, they are.) and it didn't matter too much if you were this, that, or whatever.  (I could be idealizing this a bit but it was better than it is now.)  Suddenly and without warning AIDS hit the gay community.  A deadly disease that had no cure.  As far as the impressionable, superstitious, American public was concerned, this was a sign from god that sex outside of heterosexual marriage was verboten.  A bit later, crack hit the black community.  Also, without warning.  Now, it was again reasonable to be afraid of blacks.  People no different from anyone reading this were now to be feared.  Feared and catergorized.  Even the majority becomes more malleable.

   Jump to Affirmative Action.  A Trojan Horse filled with doubt about your fellow man.  Gilded with the promise of equality, it contained all the resentment and hatred needed to keep us seperated from each other.  Along with the 80's boom of irrational religious fervor, the country our people fought for became a game of mass passivism.  You look this way and you look that way.  Through the haze, corporations came along to prey upon the divisions that were forced upon us.  The lucky corporations were savvy enough to buy ad time for many different markets.  White McDonald's commercials, black McDonald's commercials, and, yes, even gay McDonald's commercials.

   We live in a materialistic and capitalistic society.  The corporations and even some small businesses are preying upon our egos.  Especially those of us who are naive enough to think we're above it all.  All the while, there are insane people who are running the country.  The first question to ask yourself about public office is why in the hell anyone would take such a low paying, dissatisfying job.  Unless, of course, there are some people who were brainwashed by some sort of cult that taught you that other people who didn't believe the same things as you were evil.  A cult that teaches you to spread it's insidious words.  To knock on my fucking door at 8:00 AM.  To foist your erratic and illogical beliefs onto the letter of the law.  To disregard the idea that we live in a country wherein one of the main principles is to worship or not worship as we choose.

   From what I can tell, even the most sturdy of us have caved in to the marketing bug.  I'm not going to judge anyone trying their best to shake off the dust of our illiterate culture.  For the rest of you, though, stop buying stupid shit.  Stop buying stupid ideas.  The facts are: You are no different than anybody else.  You are way different from everyone.  We're all human and the only thing that's worth noticing is the way you treat other people.

   Be aware.  Notice the similarities that exist in our culture and do your fucking best to annihilate them.  You are much too unique and awesome to be categorized as anything but a miracle.  You are not your skin.  You are not your libido.  You are not a cog.  You are everything.  You are a person.  You are real and capable of critical thought.  Mountain Dew knows nothing about the nights that you cried, loved, or kicked some serious ass.  Always choose what's best for you, then, what's best for the collective.  That'd be every living thing on the planet.  Kick the ego.  Let's go.


ADDENDUM!

I am very drunk.  A more sober person might have articulated themselves better but you're stuck with me.  Just as I am stuck in a hotel room in Platteville, WI.  Sorry about the length of this thing and my high fucking horse.  Mostly, I'm sorry this thing is so sloppy.  I can only see paragraphs and not the whole.  Hopefully, It doesn't read like some slipshod book report.  It was inspired by Hubba.  Enjoy.


Me, with my real inspiration.
« Last Edit: January 04, 2009, 01:28:44 AM by Sleef » Logged

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the redline
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« Reply #1 on: January 04, 2009, 12:52:34 AM »

Funny, I had a Mountain Dew Slurpee today.  I haven't drank anything Mountain Dew for at least 8 years or so.
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the WORMER
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« Reply #2 on: January 04, 2009, 12:09:50 PM »

You're high as a fucking kite
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pak pak pak

"I HAD 5 INFANTRY AND 1 PLANE. FETUS DONE SWITCHED UP ON ME. "
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« Reply #3 on: January 04, 2009, 06:05:49 PM »

i agree with everything but the 6th paragraph...

and everything i agree with i really dug

+1 for ranting while drunk!
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I was playing COD:WOW & I told this one guy to stop being a little bitch. Well, I wasn't aware that this douche lived down the street and he busted into my friend's place & pulled a gun on us. The fucker didn't realize that he was outnumbered so we took his gun & threw his ass out.
-The BlahBlah
el ogrehound 3000
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« Reply #4 on: January 04, 2009, 07:03:27 PM »

That was rad.  SHOW ME THE MONEY!
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Sleef
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« Reply #5 on: January 04, 2009, 10:03:34 PM »

i agree with everything but the 6th paragraph...

and everything i agree with i really dug

+1 for ranting while drunk!

Shred for you because that paragraph has no real foundation.  It is something to think about, however.  I'm wasted...again.  It's just one of those weeks, for me.  Thanks for reading my wanky shit.  I've been partying super hard this week and it was nice to squeeze out something that wasn't totally idiotic.  I'll be sober posting again soon, i swear.
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« Reply #6 on: January 04, 2009, 10:38:08 PM »

I didn't mind that, and if that was really written while drunk that you have some top notch coordination skills

I don't know about the US actually distributing crack, but the drug war is doing pretty much the same thing by forcing it to be distributed through gangs instead of legal means
I strongly believe that this country would not have nearly the gang problem it has now if drugs were made legal, and probably even less addicts as well
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pak pak pak

"I HAD 5 INFANTRY AND 1 PLANE. FETUS DONE SWITCHED UP ON ME. "
Sleef
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« Reply #7 on: January 04, 2009, 11:05:53 PM »

I didn't mind that, and if that was really written while drunk that you have some top notch coordination skills

I don't know about the US actually distributing crack, but the drug war is doing pretty much the same thing by forcing it to be distributed through gangs instead of legal means
I strongly believe that this country would not have nearly the gang problem it has now if drugs were made legal, and probably even less addicts as well

Oh, I was drunk, alright.  I'm drunk again, to tell the truth.  I don't post personal shit when I'm not drunk.  We are fighting a war.  That should be the worst thing anyone's heard in a long time.  Bill Hicks said we're fighting a war and the people on drugs are winning.  It's not just about drugs, though.  It's about fucking a dude in the ass, burning the flag, and sucking a premature fetus out of your womb.  These are things you must be able to do in a free country.  Personally, I wouldn't do any of that shit but I will place my life on the line for anyone that wants to.

Shit.  I'm super drunk, again.  I'll respond to posts in a more mature fashion on another day.  Sorry about the tirades.
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el ogrehound 3000
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« Reply #8 on: January 05, 2009, 08:01:27 AM »

The CIA injected and supplied crack to the US.  It's not a fact, but pretty close to it.  It was also their idea to allow a liquor store on every corner in every poverty stricken neighborhood.  Think about it.  Every ghetto has a plethera of them.

God, crack, AIDS.....all just scare tactics.
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Johnny Copp
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« Reply #9 on: January 05, 2009, 12:04:50 PM »

Awesome rant.    I'm psyhched it was "Hamms" induced!    They used to sell 40s of Hamm's in East St. Louis for 99 cents!    inflation
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The Lala
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« Reply #10 on: January 06, 2009, 04:31:07 PM »

It was an awesome rant. I am greatly amazed with your drunken typing ability. I am jealous, I can't get HAMM's where I am in Michigan...I heard the closest I can get it is in Wisconsin.
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« Reply #11 on: January 07, 2009, 02:35:36 AM »

It's about fucking a dude in the ass, burning the flag, and sucking a premature fetus out of your womb.  These are things you must be able to do in a free country.  Personally, I wouldn't do any of that shit but I will place my life on the line for anyone that wants to.
that little gem needs to be worked into your act.
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