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Author Topic: Skateboarders VS. Messageboarders  (Read 3220 times)
Mr.Spitfuck
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« on: January 21, 2008, 09:48:36 PM »

   Hi, I'm Matt, a 23 year old, white, middle-class (although currently broke) scumbag living in middle-of-nowhere New Brunswick, just on the border between the United States of America and the un-united provinces, territories, and Quebec of Canada.  I've been skateboarding for...we can say a long time I guess, since my seniority can now be measured in decades. But I suppose that's enough background since my life is so full of excitement and unpredictability it would undoubtedly take way too much space to explain all my life’s details. (insert just enough sarcasm for stupid people not to pickup on.)
   
   I'm a long-time skateboarder but only first-time messageboarder, so I really have no idea what I'm doing right now.  By comparison to the little bit I've read, I think I might be off to a bad start.  This punctuation is excessive and the amount of detail is more then likely frowned upon.  Examples could be produced but it probably wouldn’t be fair to point fingers and make fun.....but it sure as hell would be fun......   
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"heyyyy, im about to buy my 1st skateboard n i wnt it2 b reliable, but i dont ava clue wot2 luk 4? wot type of things shud i consider so i know im buying a gud board? r cheap skateboards ok to buy and ride? cu sum1 please help so i dont end up killin myself."
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    At first glance this is a lot of gibberish, maybe even a algebra.   But after time reading it, and a lot of damn time for 3 simple lines,  I thought 'Ok, this is obviously a child.'  He has never bought a skateboard before so that was my evidence right there....and at least he didn't spell skateboard something like sk4tb0rd.  So, he's off the hook I guess.  Even an asshole like me has some sympathy for the youths misunderstandings.   But for all the excessiveness of his post, (it was posted in damn near
all the forums available, if not all)  I lost that sympathy.  His stupidity was prominent throughout the whole Thrasher messsageboard.  Luckily, all I have to do to retaliate is refuse to post a helpful answer.  Then, hopefully, without my help he will do as he had said, and kill himself.  I just hope I wont be labelled an accessory to suicide.....
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"wHaT i Do Is TiGhTeN mY wHeElS aNd TrUcKs AnD tHeN dO mY bEsT tRiCk InTo B sTrEeT iN sAn DiEgO. tHeN mY rIcH fRiEnD fRoM cArLsBaD fIlMs It WiTh HiS $1000 cAmErA tHaT hIs MoMmY bOuGhT hIm AnD pUtz It iN A viTaL SkaTe ViD. ThAtz cOOl RigHt???!!!!?!!!?!" 
-  In regards to the 'rules of bombing a hill'

   Now this is a completely different monster.  Did he want to stick out like a sore thumb?  Was that the reasoning, or was it just because he was bored and wanted to give his shift-pinkie exercise every half of a second?  Either way it was a bitch to decipher the 1's from the I's, the l's from the I's and all of it hurt my fucking eyes.  But regarding the idea that there are rules to bombing a hill, isn't the only rule to go all the way down and not to die?  Because if you die, you obviously have lost to the hill.  And if you don't go down all the way, well.... then your not bombing the fuckin' hill are you!  When your 8 years old you bomb your driveway, all the way down, or your a pussy.  When your 16 years old you bomb that big hill on the way to the skate park, all the way down, or your a pussy.  When your Danny Way you bomb a mountain, all the way down, or your a pussy (Sorry D-Way, your the only one to blame for putting yourself in position for such categorization.)....
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" yo PHELPER WHEN YOU COME DOWN TO SACRAMENTO.CALI
« on: December 20, 2007, 07:40:32 PM »   
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lets party it up i will buy mad beer and skate power inn skatepark hit me up!
HAVOC SKATEBOARD CREW 916"
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   Now, I'm sure of all people, Jake Phelps wouldn't mind going to a skatepark and drinking somebody’s else's offered 'mad beer', but I'm thinking he could go to quite a few other skateparks in the world and drink somebody else's beer.  I don't know this personally, I do live on a different coast of a different country and have never had the experience of meeting him but I think he could actually demand it.  I'm pretty sure he could assemble some of the best skaters out there and make a skatepark tour out of it.  Actually, if you read this Phelps, keep that in mind; Thrasher's We drink your beer Tour/Competition.  If it's competition, it's not alcoholism, right?   Not only would I be willing to compete, but I'd buy the DVD.   

   I guess in retrospect all I've been doing is making fun of a few dudes, who are more then likely just kids, for not taking the time to think about how their messages would look after they were posted.  In all fairness they were probably just thinking about going skating and having a good time.  Such are the thrills of being a teenager, and I, a casualty of it's destruction.  I'm just as much an angry, slightly stupid young man, with time and boredom of his hands.  Left with so much time I wrote this message, to post on this messsageboard, to prove nothing.  And have I even uncovered any truth?   You usually have to lie to people to get the truth out of them, that's one good rule of journalism.  But I'm no journalist.  The truth is that I'm no smarter then the people that I've just made fun
of.  The only lie I produced was pretending I was.  So I hope, for your sake, you didn't believe me.
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malinas
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« Reply #1 on: January 21, 2008, 10:10:03 PM »

pointless
you need to put a comma before   but
the one about bombing hills is a joke, that you wouldn't get seeing as how you live in another country where their grammar is far from decent.
thanks for the life story, not that any of us care.

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goodbye sweet dreams, goodbye sweet dreams.
Mr.Spitfuck
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« Reply #2 on: January 21, 2008, 10:15:36 PM »

i love you
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bailgun
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« Reply #3 on: January 21, 2008, 11:01:12 PM »

thanks for the life story, not that any of us care.
i have but one word of advice for you, sir.


BREVITY.
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Hugh Jass
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« Reply #4 on: January 21, 2008, 11:08:18 PM »

I have a small penis. How's that for a life story?
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He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man
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malinas
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« Reply #5 on: January 21, 2008, 11:36:10 PM »

I have a small penis.
Would you mine joining me for twin day at my school next thursday.
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goodbye sweet dreams, goodbye sweet dreams.
Hugh Jass
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« Reply #6 on: January 22, 2008, 04:10:02 PM »

Only if I get some candy first.
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malinas
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« Reply #7 on: January 22, 2008, 04:13:03 PM »

I got Sweet Tart Ropes in my backpack.
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goodbye sweet dreams, goodbye sweet dreams.
bailgun
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« Reply #8 on: January 22, 2008, 05:18:37 PM »

i've got all the candy you could ever want here in my van...
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malinas
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« Reply #9 on: January 22, 2008, 05:36:52 PM »

Do you remember hearing about some guy that had a van full of duffs, black label, and six guns stickers.
And he had stencils that said THE KID.
I guess he was a stalker of jason adams of all people.
Why skaters, I understand celebrities, but skateboarders aren't in rehab and not wearing panties.
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goodbye sweet dreams, goodbye sweet dreams.
bailgun
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« Reply #10 on: January 22, 2008, 07:13:45 PM »

i never heard about that. so did he stalk jason at demos and shit, too? or was he trying to BE adams.


adams does have some psycho fans though, especially among collectors.
check out the skull and bones forums sometime to see how fanatical some dudes are about his boards.
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Mr.Spitfuck
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« Reply #11 on: January 22, 2008, 07:22:13 PM »

my mother loves me for who I am......I also touch myself to sleep at night!
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mucklebutt
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« Reply #12 on: January 22, 2008, 09:21:45 PM »

Jason is the shit though.
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Hugh Jass
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« Reply #13 on: January 22, 2008, 09:52:28 PM »

I would totally stalk the hell out of Oprah. She is a good looking woman.
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malinas
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« Reply #14 on: January 22, 2008, 09:56:49 PM »

He stalked him at demos and tried to befriend him at sunnyvale park.
I wish I could remember the mag.
I like jason, especialy that six gun style point nose/ square tail boards enjoi was putting out fro awhile.
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goodbye sweet dreams, goodbye sweet dreams.
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