Lurkers and Human Skatestoppers

[susej]

I want that deck!

And there were definitely a ton of froot scooters at the park in Nova Scotia when I was home in the summer. Some even in their late 20's...

[kenneth rogers]

http://www.jenkemmag.com/home/2011/07/31/people-that-piss-me-off-the-%E2%80%9Cconcerned-citizen%E2%80%9D/


this alot of the time

[Stabby_McShiv]

Speak of the devil and he appears.  I hit up a park across town recently and while I was there a group of about  5-10 dudes with rollerblades show up and start strapping in. Bad.  Ass.  Not a big deal, I can appreciate a little novelty here and there and it's a public skate park so fuck it.

My sudden change of heart came when I am across the park and I see this dude pull out a huge pink brick sized chunk of wax and start laying it down on a rail.  He is full on putting his back into it and shit just caking the rail and there are people right by him just chilling and watching it happen.  I couldn't take it so I b-line over to the dude and start ripping him a new one yelling at him to stop fucking waxing the the rail all while trying to explain the whole "what if somebody hops on that shit without knowing it's waxed spiel". He's giving me this crazy deer in headlights look and shit gets really strange when the dudes girlfriend/sister/escort runs over and starts explaining to him what I am all worked up about.  Apparently he didn't speak English too well and I was ignorant to the fact given the one-sided nature of conversation.  I am there by myself, clearly outnumbered and they were all grown dudes so it's not like I was being a bully but I felt kinda bad about raging out on the dude.  The silver lining is that hopefully it was memorable enough to change his behavior and he did stop greasing up the rail. 

I hope I wasn't being a dick and somehow missed the memo that it's suddenly ok to wax up metal rails because I was the only one who seemed to give a shit.

[Babe, Mr. Ruth if you're Nasty]

Beezelblob - normally a heavyset, ICP or Dubstep listening, neo-hipster doofus. Smells heavily of smoke from either cigarettes or marijuana, or energy drink. Usually their face consists of double chins and a BTM(Bad Teenage Mustache). Mannerisms include slouching, breaking glass bottles, fights or any other suspicious reasons to phone the authorities. Should be eradicated for better future breeding populations. Avoid at all costs. Runaway boards do not count.

[Stabby_McShiv]

Beelzebubs are also known to prefer poorly maintained Pontiac Grand Ams or Oldsmobiles as their chariots of choice.  Bracelets, trinkets and other flair should be expected and will likely be ICP related adornments.  Sorry to nitpick but it's also worth noting that the the smell will likely be mentholated cigarette and marijuana smoke will blended with a strong dose of Polo Sport cologne in a failed attempt to cover up said mary jane. "Come on dude, I am on probation brah, if they make me throw another piss test I am going to get tossed back in juvey.  Fuck man."

Vibrators:  The dudes that show up at a park and do a few high speed loops around the park and generally vibe everybody out like they are  establishing their presence.  Typically angry teenagers who are cocky little fucks with something too prove.  Fuck you.  You are just one good ass kicking away from the humility of being a grown man.   70% of the time the warm up laps end with a few failed flip tricks, some squatting on a ledge and then time to go home and order some more shirts from CCS.

Granolas:  Rocking the A Christmas Carol's Tiny Tim looking knit beanie with the ear flaps and dingleberries flopping all over the place.  It's 70 degrees and Transworld Snowboarding isn't a good place to pick up ideas to for stylish accessorizing.