Behold the Skate Gods

SG-title
Art by James Callahan  |  Words by Adam Creagan

In the beginning, there was no skate stoke. It is a powerful gift (and some say curse) bestowed to Earth after escaping to our planet from a higher dimension. In the material world, when you go skating, it’s just you and the ground beneath your wheels. In reality, there is a complex interplay with the Skate Gods every moment the urethane is spinning. They have a sheer disregard for mortals who do not partake in their sacred activity. Yet those who do stand atop the cherished vessel are both blessed and condemned in equal measure. Pray to the wheeled plank and bow to your masters...

As seen in the March 2013 mag.

SG-1
Space Viking

The Patron Saint of Road Trips. He oversees the traveling skater and brings bust-free adventures, new friends, and slumber free of bedbugs. Alas, even he can't prevent snoring and foot odor. He glorifies those who quietly face adversity and curses whiny, mark-ass Busters. A space-monkey serves as his G.P.S. (Galactic Provider of Spots). He cares not whether one books a plane ticket to Barcelona or simply explores every alley of their hometown. He is concerned only that his disciples seek out majestic new terrain.


SG-2
Poser Annihilator

Without a regular sacrifice to this altar, the earnest skater falls to the rank of the phony. Beware to those who attempt to fool his eye, for a board stashed away in a garage or closet is blasphemy. He sees through all facades and knows that your ankle is fine, you could easily skate today. Excuses abound: couch gravity, game console, or other such blather—yet they melt under his scrutiny. The day one proclaims "I used to skate..." that person transcends from poser to infidel, and shall escape the Annihilator's wrath. Yet, that declaration is its own punishment enough.


SG-3
Our Lady of Follow Through

Her hand guides all who attempt new tricks, for she knows no two roll-aways are the same. She is the foe of stagnation and the crucible of skate evolution. Without her, nothing is attempted, casino nothing is gained. She soothes those who pursue tech progression and rewards them with a bountiful bag of maneuvers. She grows weary from that same mini-ramp line you've been doing for years, for it is now mere choreography.


SG-4
Shred Possessor

Some days are mellow and yield no more than slash grinds and mere manuals. Yet other days burn bright with gnar. Behold the gatekeeper between these two realms; the fire incarnate in every skater. Immolate in his name, and he will possess you to skate. He is summoned only when the fear of slams recede, yet the pursuit of danger is willingly embraced. His dominion is speed. Take heed, no skater has withstood a total possession of his for very long. Except Cardiel.


You can buy Skate Gods prints here.

  • Zorchémon Go: The Skate Game

    Zorchémon Go: The Skate Game
    Like an infectious, untreatable disease, that one phone app where you hunt down invisible monsters went viral like the Black Plague. Here’s our version where you snoop around for skate critters.
  • Future Islands Interview

    Future Islands Interview
    This band had a long-time cult following and blew up the last couple of years. Austyn Gillette and David Letterman may have helped, but mostly the tunes did all the work.
  • Sneak Peek: May 2016

    Sneak Peek: May 2016
    Jerry Hsu returns to the cover of the mag with a tech-gnar masterpiece–nollie backside 180 to fakie 5-0. Welcome back, Jer!
  • Zine Thing: Homegrown mags and rags

    Zine Thing: Homegrown mags and rags
    Hell, Thrasher started as a zine so you know we have love for all hand-made publications. Here’s a look at some zines we’ve received over the years plus an interview with our long-time zine-reviewer Wez Lundry.
  • Skate Valentine's Day Cards

    Skate Valentine's Day Cards
    Feel the love (and the convenience and affordability) as you give your girl one of our free V-Day cards instead of buying her some hokey Hallmark garbage.