Category: Magazine

Monday, 22 October 2012 12:54
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By Adam Creagan

When confronted with a crappy skatepark there’s that thing where people say, “Well, if you found these spots on the street you’d be stoked.” It’s an optimistic, glass half-full skate strategy. And it’s also a sinister mix of denial and excuse-making that avoids the obvious: These turd burgers should have been made correctly the first time. As seen in the September 2012 mag, here we go again...

Below, you'll find that our 10-point skatepark rating system is instructive, detailed, and completely unnecessary. It also contains an alien flipping you off.
rating-system-final


s1
If the sign out front says “Skateboard Obstacle Course,” you’re bummin'. This dog park really bites.

s2
Parking blocks and skating have a rich history, but c'mon, even boardslides have their limits.

s3
Winchester Mystery Handrails can only be ridden by skate ghosts.

s4
"All the world's a stage" and so is 85% of this park. Some blockheads who didn't think outside the box poured this clunker.

s5
Rock fakie, tail tap, rock fakie, tail tap...now burn down this thin, rinky-dink thing.

s6
A lesson in circular logic: We clearly have here a lousy park. But that’s OK because it’s shitty anyway.

s7
We suspected P-Shop trickery but, rain or shine, this King of Crap is all too real.

s8
A Rosemary’s Baby that should have never been conceived.

s9
Bath salts and dubstep must be involved here. There's also a faint whiff of an "art" installation at a European musical festival.

s10
The hills are alive with the sound of no one skating. Here's pricey real estate with million-dollar views of a 10-cent suck park. Nice barriers, though.

s11
A grass roll-away pierces the heart of skate stoke.

s12
This mega-mellow snooze seems harmless but skaters have actually fallen asleep and died while riding it.

s13
So bad it’s almost rad, here’s a monument to brain transplants.

s14
The street skating area is not ideal. Nor is it remotely designed from a reality-based understanding of how skateboarding works. But what’s important is that they tried.

s15
"Leve-me para o seu curso de colisão skate da morte" means "Take me to your skateboard collision course of death!"

The person who sends us photos of the worst skatepark or obstacle gets a free Thrasher package. Send to mail@thrashermagazine.com (300 dpi, 5 inches wide). For the prize, photos should be of your hometown park. But you can also send whatever garbage you find out there.

Last modified on Monday, 22 October 2012 13:28
Globe Eutrippin' tour Europe Jul 04
Burger Boogaloo Oakland, CA Jul 04
City Boys Art Show Long Beach, CA Jul 08
Blood Wizard Premiere Encinitas,CA Jul 10
Blood Wizard Premiere NY,NY Jul 12
Tommy Guerrero Shows California Jul 14
740TH1213PC1.jpgIn This Issue
Sascha Daley scores the August front with a high-altitude kickflip into an ancient bank—more Daley heat inside with his Heads interview. Chris Gregson gets the Heads treatment as well and Nick Boserio and Ron Deily get fully grilled. Loud headphones coasts through Costa Rica; the FA Sk8 Fucks jump in the tour bus with Earl Sweatshirt; Cons streetstyles through the South and Lakai goes bananas in Puerto Rico. Done deal, dude.
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